Have you seen that meme? The one that says, “Welcome to your 40s! If you don’t yet have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.” Well, it’s funny because it feels true.
This is an account of gratitude regarding my own mysterious ailment. TL;DR I’m now short one gallbladder and I’m counting my blessings.
I suffered off and on with a mysterious ailment for several years but my doctors didn’t find the source of my symptoms. One doctor practically threw the book of lab orders at me, but after testing for (what felt like) everything including lupus, Lyme disease, West Nile virus, H. Pylori, HIV, parasites, and all the “normal” things, the only thing that ever showed up was cytomegalovirus (CMV), and that appeared to be a past infection. She ruled out IBD and stopped short of diagnosing IBS.
A few months ago when some symptoms flared up after a long hiatus, my sister told me she thought I had a bad gallbladder.
I had some symptoms that overlap those for colon cancer. Since I do have some family history, I decided to go ahead with a colonoscopy and scheduled one with Dr R, who came recommended to me by someone close. Thank God, it was clear, no polyps, and I can wait five years for the next one. Dr R said he doesn’t do any surgeries anymore other than colo-rectal, but he would order imaging for my abdomen.
Immediately I was scheduled for an abdominal ultrasound and a week or so later, Dr R said it does appear that I have gallstones. The only cure for that is cholecystectomy (removal of the gallbladder). He was trying to decide which surgeon to refer, so he asked me whether I like girl or boy doctors, and I responded, “Competent ones.”
So he referred me to Dr C, a lovely woman who agreed that with what we do know, it is a good idea to remove the gallbladder, and I should not feel like I have to wait for the next flare up. She performs these on Thursdays. There’s never a good time to schedule something like this so I chose the first Thursday that I would have a chance to be off work for a week without conflicting with things I already had on the calendar.
Yesterday morning I checked in at the hospital. KR is old enough now that Mike and I left her still sleeping and after I finished registration he went home to help her get off to the school bus.
Upstairs my pre-op nurse, Anna, was very friendly and I appreciated her openness as she struggled a bit to get my IV started. She told me if the third time wasn’t a charm she would have someone else try. The most painful attempt turned out to be the charm. She joked with me and I was very comfortable considering I had never had surgery before.
My OR nurse, Jessica, was also friendly and she helped me go to the bathroom just before the surgery. I had to walk down the hallway in my gown, with my IV in and leg sleeves on. When I returned successfully we chatted about our work. She said she likes her job as an OR nurse, but because she has never had surgery herself, her work makes her feel curious about what it feels like to have surgery (not that she necessarily wants to find out, though). I said I know what she means. I work for a pension system and my work makes me feel curious about what it feels like to be retired (though I do hope to find out someday)!
Then I met Dr P, my anesthesiologist. She has a very direct manner but was very thorough, explaining exactly what medicines she would be giving me, when, and why. She answered all of my questions.
Then my surgeon, Dr C, arrived. The two doctors were immediately conversing about a personal matter and she quickly clued me in, telling me that the two of them have been best friends for 30 years. How blessed am I? Knowing this pair of doctors work so well together, I knew I was in good hands.
When we got to the OR, I didn’t feel nervous scooching off the bed and onto the table. Dr P had intended to administer something to relax me before wheeling me into the OR, but for some reason it didn’t happen. But I wasn’t anxious.
On the advice of a friend I had called my parish office and received a visit from one of our priests the day before surgery. He prayed, heard my confession, gave me absolution, communion, and anointed my forehead, and palms and feet in the places where Jesus was nailed to the cross. I felt so much less anxious after receiving the three sacraments and that peace stayed with me.
Dr P had said I might feel certain sensations as the medications were starting. But I really don’t remember anything after getting comfortable on the table. I never experienced those uncomfortable sensations. I woke up in recovery.
My husband was brought in once I was starting to wake up. I had to try really hard to wake up. But eventually I did, and Mike helped me dress and got me into the wheelchair.
We had one problem getting the pharmacy to fill my prescription for pain medicine. But I left a message for Dr C’s medical assistant and before I knew it, she had called the pharmacy to straighten it out and then called Mike’s phone.
So I’m home, resting, and grateful for so much it’s boggling to try to list all the reasons. But I’ll try.
My husband is a great person, a loving husband and father, who is so generous with his care. He is not afraid to help me with anything I need and I am blessed to have a husband I am not afraid to ask for anything I need.
I have medical insurance and it is subsidized by my employer. Yes, it feels like it’s expensive even subsidized. But, I know we’re lucky to have costs this low. And this whole experience was covered by my plan, as was my colonoscopy.
I have access to really good doctors. And my surgery coordinator, the hospital staff who called me before the surgery and to follow up with me today, and all the staff and nurses I interacted with have been great.
I am employed, and I have sick leave such that I don’t have to worry about losing income while being off work to recover.
My child is well and is old enough to mostly get ready for school on her own. I don’t have to worry about being able to take care of her right now, and she is sweet to understand I need to rest.
My sister tipped me off on the gallbladder. Had she not recently experienced this who knows how long it would have taken for me to get to the point I’m at today. My grandma waited until her senior days before finally having hers out.
My colonoscopy was clear. What a relief to know this.
I know many people who have prayed for me. I appreciate them so much, and I definitely feel the result of their care for me. As I continue to heal, I pray for the strength to offer all of my pain to Jesus, to unite it with him on the cross for grace to be poured out on others.
There must be more reasons for my gratitude that I have left out. I hope to be able to remember them all, and bring them to mind whenever I think I have cause for complaint.
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