Ah, the learning curve of new parents… Now that Mike and I have learned a bit more about how to “wear the pants” with Katy Rose, things have started to settle down. Her tantrums are less frequent now, and less extreme. I think she might be getting used to the idea that she is not in charge. But sometimes, I think she’s still got some learning to do, like when she made a declaration yesterday morning, and her behavior going into Target last night.
Katy and I went to Grandma & Grandpa’s house earlier than normal yesterday morning so I could get in a workout on their Wii system, shower, and then go to work. After my shower, I went to check on things with Katy Rose. Grandma and Grandpa were both with her in the living room, and she had left her shoes right in the middle of the floor where people need to walk. I had had a conversation with her at home about leaving things in the way, and how we need to move them so people don’t step on them and either break them, fall down, or both.
Grandma and I started telling Katy Rose to move her shoes out of the way. We said they could go on the edge of the fireplace hearth, or against the wall next to Mommy’s shoes. She wanted nothing of that plan, and immediately proceeded (complete with squeaky whining) to place her shoes right back down in the middle of the floor. After several firm requests from all three of us, she finally did put them next to my shoes. She went down the hallway and I stopped her to have a chat. I explained that she needs to listen to what Grandma and Grandpa say, and do what they tell her to do. She protested. I said this is Grandma and Grandpa’s house, so they are in charge.
Her response? “No, Katy Wose uh, uh, an’ Mommy in charge.” Oh, really?! I set her straight on that one. Before I left, I asked my mom if she heard Katy say that. She said both of them were in the kitchen and heard it, and had to restrain themselves from laughing! It is amazing where these kids get these bright ideas. I have to give her points for thinking in the middle of her declaration and adding me in there. She must have thought that would make it okay to claim to be a boss. Well, not quite… more lessons to go!
Last night, Mike, Katy Rose and I went to Target to get some things after dinner. Mike had given her two options: to walk, or ride in a cart. She chose to walk, so he picked her up from the car to carry her to the store. We told her we did not want her to walk in the street with cars, so he would carry her to the sidewalk and then she could walk in the store. Well, being a bit tired, she protested loudly and tried to wriggle out of his arms. This has been a major thing because it involves kicking, and Mike has talked to her about kicking on multiple occasions. I imagine it is much more painful for him than when she does it to me! (This is one situation that makes me grateful to be a woman instead of a man!)
When we got to the sidewalk he put her down and I made her come and talk to me, as she was still making a fuss about the whole thing. A pregnant woman witnessed my attempt at discipline—who knows what might have gone through her mind… I told Katy Rose about how it was not okay to kick, and that I thought she hurt Daddy’s feelings. I told her I wanted her to go to Daddy and tell him she was sorry for kicking him. He had gone ahead into the store and was looking at the ads on the wall. As soon as we got inside she said she was sorry, but he was too far away to have heard her. So I said, “Go and tell him so he can hear you, and give him a hug and kiss too.” She walked up to him and leaned in and kissed the side of his leg but didn’t say anything. I prompted her again to tell him so he could hear her. Finally he crouched down to her level and she said, “I’m sorry, Daddy.” It was so sweet, and satisfying, to hear it. He asked her for a hug and they made up. The rest of our excursion was without major incident. She even put things back when prompted, instead of insisting we bring them home!
So I guess there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually she will have really earned the label of “good kid.” I’m so relieved to feel like we’re over the hump on this. I’ve never had much of a need to be in charge before, but these days, I’d better be the boss.
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